I'm the jerk

I've been running for 20 years. Physically. I've ran in the sun, snow and rain. I've seen bears, beavers, horseback riders and snakes. I've been chased by geese and turkeys. I've ran too far and on other days couldn't get past the warm up. Today, I tripped 4 times and fell twice... hard. I've quit for years to mountain board and months to do a market garden. I always return. I rarely ever want to run, but in the midst of it I know why I'm there. I pray.

Today I recalled a race I ran several months ago. I won, but I lost. I often run competitively, but rarely set out to win. There's always that one guy that shows up and kills everyone. Most every one's just out to have a good time and finish. But this guy... he trains, has all the gear, and warms up. I wear my swimming shorts and several other competitors have bellies.

This particular race was small and I had a hunch that I might could win. My oldest son got excited and wanted to run. Momma said I would have to run with him if he entered. He hadn't trained (this was a 3 mile race), he was being discontent and overly excited, and besides... I could win this.

As I approached the line to start, so did Mr. Benson... and his 7 year old. I felt right then that I had made a mistake. What was I running for?

I won. Mr. Benson and his daughter lost... bad. Although they came in dead last, Mr. Benson won. If there was a prize I might have handed it over.

I can be very competitive in much that I do. Often, I can feel it creeping into my walk after Christ. I want to win, I want to be the greatest in His Kingdom. There was an apostle who wanted to be the best too. Christ told him how...

Lose...

"“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3-4"